3 week special - Where the hell are those dwarves?

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3 week special - Where the hell are those dwarves?

Postby Backstabapaladin » Tue Aug 04, 2015 8:37 pm

A warhammer quest set in the deep roads of Kazak Kadrin. 3 weeks of dwarf hack and slay with a little role-play thrown in for good measure.

It seems that some dozy git went off hunting greenskins in the deep roads and took 40 heavily armed shield breaker dwarves with him. Unfortunately they didn't come back. So the high thane in his wisdom sends 4 adventurers off to find out what happened to them.

Borrus - a priest of Grungni
Spitta - a rune bearer with the capability to outrun an elf (I'm not kidding!)
Kadron - a shield breaker.
Ragnar - a troll slayer who would lose a battle of wits against a glass of water.

The party sets off amid tears, fond farewells and a few smirks and heads out to the outer markers of Barak Van which is a small mining community on the outskirts of Karak Kadrin. On reaching the entrance to Barak Van the party find the local guards being pummelled by a bunch of greenskin scum. While the party formulate a plan the nutter, sorry slayer, runs in a decapitates two gobbos before anyone else can react. With all thoughts of tactics gone a general melee ensues which results in a 13-2 win for the dwarves (2 dwarf guards get stomped).

Patching their wounds they set off and it's not long before they come to a crevasse which spans the entire road. It's too wide to jump so Kadron decides to climb across the wall with a rope attached. He does the inevitable and fails to make the climb roll and gets caught swinging ten feet down the hole. He tries again on the opposite wall and guess what? Yep, it's a good job he had that rope attached! Eventually they make it across using ropes and a grapnel after finding some hidden dwarf burial tombs from when the deep roads were built.

Moving on they look for some place to rest up but only find a couple of orcs guarding a rough hole in the tunnel wall. Using crossbow fire they manage to antagonise one of the orcs into attacking the other (when it fails to find where the quarrels are coming from). However, it's not long before 4 more orcs come rising out of the 'hole' and charge the party. Sensing a good fight coming up, Kadron and Ragnar face them down only to see another 6 emerge two rounds later. Sensing they've taken on too much (I won't say who but someone did actually say f*** me!) they still manage to take them all despite the slayer going down three times with blows to the head. I guess they make them both stupid AND tough in Barak Van.

After finding two of the lost expedition buried in an orc midden (that was fun role-play I can tell you!) they push on to the next waystation for a good rest. They find another of the lost dwarves in the waystation but also manage to find a hidden area much like a priest hole, only much larger. In here were two ghouls who went down quite easily once the party made their fear saves. Spitta failed very badly and with his very quick movement almost found himself back home before he calmed down. The party also found a deranged cannibal dwarf who attacked Kadron and had to be put down. Some nice loot found here including a shiny hemet and an arbalest.

After much resting and healing (thank Sigmar for all those healing draughts and poultices) the party continue on a find the remains of a barricade that had been destroyed by the dwarves. Many orcs and goblins were slain including the dwarf who lit the fuse. During the investigation the party feel that they are being watched. A goblin scout is spotted but before it can run, it gets an axe in the back which isn't enough to kill it. Sensing it's good fortune in not being dead it decides to run but Spitta gives chase with his superior movement. Eventually the goblin gets it foot caught and breaks an ankle and Spitta finishes it off in one blow.

It's not long before the party run into a huge band of orcs and goblins. Discovering that they have a lot of oil flasks they decide to lob them at the advancing greenskins. Normally this would have been a very difficult encounter but owing to stupid greenskin tactics, lots of fire and very tough dwarves, the party manage to slay all but a few goblins who manage to bugger off at great speed before the last orc loses it's head to a dwarf axe. An exasperated GM wanders what the hell he has to do to kill himself a dwarf!?

Nearing the end of the adventure the party find the scout who led the expedition to it's doom. The dwarf decides to shave his head in disgrace and become a slayer. A few earthquakes later lead the party into an encounter with a troll, for which Ragnar is bl**dy annoyed that he hasn't seen a troll in months of being a slayer and the scout finds one straight away! At this point you would have thought that the party would have been scared pooless and trying to fight for their lives, but no. Instead they are tripping over themselves to get at it for the honour of the killing strike. Just as the troll gets down to 4 wounds a large chunk of masonry from the latest earth tremor lands directly on it's head and kills it. OFFSIDE everyone yells as another chunk crushes the scout!

Eventually the party find themselves at the crossroads where the dwarven expedition met it's fate. There are dead dwarves everywhere. Unluckily for the party there are also 16 goblins, 12 orcs and a war boss. Trying very humanlike tactics, the goblins form a firing line and manage to score a few wounds with missile fire before the lack of discipline by the orcs behind them fails and cause a general charge (largely helped by the intimidation of Ragnar who stands on a small barricade taunting the orcs and waving his wedding tackle at them!). Seeing that their previous tactics of fire worked so well last time, the party have already liberally doused the tunnel with oil and as an added bonus a whole bag of caltrops (thanks a bunch Spitta!). As the orcs get close the oil is fired and a huge scrap ensues. The orcs have to cross the fire so lose a whole load of wounds just getting to the dwarves. Ragnar is very badly wounded (again) but the whole party manage to survive. Borrus cleaves the last orc with almost the last blow of the game but the final honours go to Spitta who during the combat stayed at the back firing a crossbow. He leaps from the barricade with the last attack of the game, draws a shortsword and skanks the orc war boss through his gonads.

Final party stats:

Dwarves - 28 gobbos, 36 orcs, 2 boss orcs, 1 troll, 2 ghouls and a cannibal
Greenskins - 2 guards, 1 scout.
1 annoyed GM! ('cause he didn't kill himself a party member) but great fun. Well played by all.
Don't worry boys, they're too far away. They can't hit us at this rang.....!!!

Last words of Gen. John Sedgewick US Army. Said sometime during the US civil war.
Unfortunate, very sad, but I laughed until a little bit of pee escaped!

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